So that the workplace conflict does not become a cat fight

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So that the workplace conflict does not become a cat fight
So that the workplace conflict does not become a cat fight
Anonim

A workplace can be the source of countless conflicts, no wonder, since many people with different personalities and habits are locked together for almost a whole day. There will always be disputes, however, according to a study by the Academy of Management Perspectives, if there is a disagreement between women, the environment usually condescendingly classifies it as a cat fight and immediately receives a negative response. In addition, many believe that a conflict between women has a greater impact on their work than if two men were involved in a similar situation. So it seems that if you're a woman, it's even more important to be a pro at conflict management.

“If we want to group conflicts according to their nature, then one possible division can classify conflicts into three categories: conflicts arising from our different personalities belong to one, and conflicts attributable to professional reasons belong to the next (this includes conflicts of interest in functional areas, professional achievements arising from a different assessment, salary increase, benefits package, etc.disagreements due to this), and conflicts arising from the operational structure or its changes are included in the sixth, says Júlia Őri, HR consultant and coach.

Whatever the cause of the conflict, it is not worth trying to clarify it in a heightened emotional state. Then emotions can easily get carried away, the conversation turns personal, insulting and criticizing the other person, which will certainly prevent the solution of the problems. The first and most important advice of the specialist is therefore to first try to limit yourself to the facts, express what you have to say as precisely as possible, and formulate your needs clearly. At the same time, pay attention to the other person, be flexible and make them feel that you are trying to compromise. Represent your interests, but don't rigidly stick to the solution you came up with, but try to understand the other party's points of view as well. It is possible that the clash of opinions will result in a common solution that is acceptable to both parties, and it may even be favorable.

Personality types in conflict management

Since our personalities are different, we also handle conflicts in different ways. There are certain typical methods of conflict management, but this cannot be generalized for everyone.

The competitive type sees the competition in the conflict, he wants to win. Since this is his main motivation, it doesn't matter to him at what cost, he will win - he is not pleasant to work with.

A problem solver strives for a solution, he does not make a prestige issue out of who let go more during the solution. He is interested in resolving the conflict.

The compromise conflict solver who strives for mutually acceptable solutions has a similar attitude. He is an ideal colleague, he strives for a win-win situation, it is a pleasure to work with him.

The avoidant does not take on the conflict, prefers to eat it and only poisons himself. Of course, he is frustrated by this, but he doesn't dare or doesn't want to speak. He believes that what we don't talk about doesn't even exist, and because of his passive attitude, he doesn't really move things forward.

The compliant type is not a leading individual: he feels safe when he is told what to do. Of course, you don't have to take responsibility that way.

Women's argument=cat fight?

“The fact that conflicts between women are thought of as simple cat fights is a long-standing conditioning and stereotype. It used to be thought that women could not do their best at work. Of course, this has not been true for a long time, as the world has changed a lot: due to the mass employment of women and their performance at the workplace, they are in completely different life situations than their predecessors, who "only" worked in the household and raised children. Women have completely similar conflicts. at the workplace, as for male colleagues. That is why it is not advisable to differentiate between the sexes from this point of view," says Júlia Őri.

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Tips for handling conflict at work

Don't complain about others while working

Of course, it is easy (and sometimes it would be a good idea) to make a thorough complaint to a colleague who knows the other party as well, or who may have even witnessed the conflict. However, it is better to discuss the problem only with the offending party, it is better if you leave the co-workers out of it! If she complains to others, it only reinforces the belief that women never get over things. If it really hurts you, call your partner or a friend, or wait until you get home to complain. The latter is also a better solution, because there is a good chance that by then you will have forgotten the whole thing.

Calm down

If you feel that the first time you get upset, you would prefer to attack your colleague and distribute it well, remember and calm down, because a big fight will lead you nowhere. According to Sheppard, as long as only the subject of the conflict itself is discussed, there is nothing wrong with it, and it is even particularly useful. On the other hand, if the communication turns personal, it can have negative consequences. In such cases, it is therefore worth calming down and then discussing with the other person in a normal tone what has gone wrong and how this can be eliminated in the future.

Watch your tone

According to Joyce Weiss, author of Communicate With Impact, women automatically speak up when they have a problem and want to explain it. This can irritate the environment in the first place, so before you speak, take a deep breath, so your tone will be somewhat deeper.

Everyone can have bad days

In a workplace, it is natural that sometimes there are conflicts, but not everything is directly personal. If someone is rude to you, give it a chance that they're just having a bad day. Therefore, it is not necessary to react to every small negative moment. If a co-worker doesn't talk to you the way he should, even though he's nice at other times, then leave it at that - of course, if it happens more than once, you can tell him about it. If you don't know how to bring up the subject, Weiss advises the parrot technique: ask back when the other person has said something negative. So if you were told, for example, that the whole presentation was rubbish, then ask the same thing back: "Was the whole presentation rubbish?". That way, you're likely to get more feedback and find out what exactly went wrong.

Don't get involved in gossip

Gossiping is a dangerous business, it can be a source of many conflicts. If you do find yourself in the middle of a conversation, no matter how exciting the topic seems, don't get involved. It's already something if you stay out of it, but it's best if you try to dismantle the whole thing by suggesting that the gossipers should discuss their problems with the people involved in person.

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